Ohhhh Back to School

 Remember that time I said that I was going to write a blog post once a week? Yeah, well, that didn't happen. But hey, kids are at school today (first day!!) and I have a wee bit more free time because I have to get up early and out of bed. Ha! I always think of this song from this ridiculous movie when I think of going back to school:

 Here is to the first day of school y'all! Or for some of you. A lot of you according to Facebook. I love seeing all of those first day of school pictures! Mine aren't as fancy as some, but maybe one day I will be that cool. It's the first day of my new career: Mom. I had so much fun last night getting some fun things ready for the kids. I labeled a couple of backpacks and pencil bags and I made a little back to school goody bucket for them. I would have never had the time to do any of this if I was teaching!       .                            

That being said, I am grieving the loss of being around my teacher friends and being at school and teaching. I was taking it pretty hard the other week when I would have been starting at teacher inservice. And I should have been super excited that I wasn't going back and dealing with all the stress that comes with teaching and getting ready for the new year. But instead, I found myself sad and wishing I was there. It has been my life for the past 5 years. The same people, the same place. I had my rhythm and my groove and friends. I LOVED seeing kids from previous years and them yelling my name down the hall and giving huge hugs. I was grieving the loss of all of that stuff. There were many reason I left that job and came home and it was my stress level and the lack of attention I was giving my own kids. I had no clue what was going on at their school and I didn't know their teachers and I visited their school for Meet the Teacher and I had no clue where anything was! After being able to be there for my kids at Meet the Teacher and being able to make them goodies and drop them off on their first day, I am SO happy to be home and not at work. 

Another part of my sadness came from all I had wasted last year because I was so miserable and so stressed. I had an opportunity to really be there and minister to kids and coworkers. Instead I wasted my time complaining and stressing and just walking around with negativity. I wish I could go back and change it all. But I also wonder if I needed that year to show me that I am not super woman. I can't give everything of me to the kids in my class AND my kids at home. It's just not possible. And I don't have the ability to give 50% here and 50% there. If I am going to be satisfied personally, I can only give 100% to one thing and that always ended up being work. And thats not fair to my family. So instead of looking back and seeing what opportunities I missed, I believe God put me in this position to really minister to my kids and those other people around me. Just being around the kids school and church and their friends, I have noticed that there are so many people out there. I lived in a particular bubble for so long being miserable that I couldn't find any people that live near me that I could spend time with and BAM! I found some just around the corner! I mean, shoot. I am able to go to a morning Bible study through our church that starts in September and I am super excited about that! 

Anyways, I don't even know if I made sense in any of what I said above. I am writing while listening to a podcast. Probably not the best idea. I am just very excited for my new adventure. I miss my old stomping grounds and the people who I spent time with every day, but I am ready for this change! 

House update: I know the last time I wrote I talked about redoing the porch. Well, shortly after that, we got an offer on the house despite the porch we started on, so I sorta decided that if these people still want the house even though the porch looks the way it does, then I am not going to waste my time and money. Haha! I'll let y'all know how this deal goes.